Words by Rachel from Out of the Nest
Images by Maja Baska

The transition from Maiden to Mother, it is really big.

There is a word for this transition - Matrescence. Matrescence is the physical, emotional, hormonal, and social transition to becoming a mother. Like adolescence it is a radical transition, but one that is often under-estimated and under-supported.

Mothers should be held and protected while embarking on this transition, sadly they are left isolated and treated as though growing birthing and sustaining new life is no big deal. It is a big deal. We need to place value on Matrescence because it is a place of power and strength as well as vulnerability.

How can we do this?

Finding Community

There is so much value in community, we crave it.

Motherhood often requires new community. Finding people who are in the same season as you, to empathise and normalise can really help. Finding people that you feel aligned with, not so easy. But it is worth the effort to find. The places where you like to hang out are likely the places people like you would hang out right? Certain Playgroups… music, library, craft, bush groups? Braving a hello at the local Playground? Book clubs, Bootcamps, even online communities can offer connection.

No woman should feel alone in this transition.

It is not fair to ask new Mothers to have to find their own community, but there are small and large communities created around us to tap into, sometimes it’s a matter of being brave enough to get out the front door to find them. Hard, but worth it.

Finding Support

In an ideal world, we would have a village around us caring for us. In this modern day we often must pull in our own support. Create safe places to find insight, receive education, to be vulnerable and find strength. Putting our pride aside to recruit family or health professionals. To say Yes to genuine offers, to know what you need and then be brave enough to ask for it. Sometimes it’s not so much about finding support as it is about saying yes to support that may already be around us. Parenting workshops, Child and family health nurse services or perhaps free counselling sessions.

Finding Yourself

Becoming a mother can often feel like it eclipses the woman that you are. Matrescence can shift the things you value, the things you enjoy. The things you wanted before Motherhood you may no longer want, the things that were of high value no longer are.

Hiding behind the identity of Motherhood, because we are confused about who we are beyond that anymore, with little time or energy to work it out.

A vulnerable place, but also a place of deep reflection, growth, and transformation if we allow it. If we find and create the safe places, we need to evolve.

This can feel deeply uncomfortable but also very normal. It is not about going back to your old self. It is about moving into your new self.

Much like a caterpillar that emerges from the cocoon, with wings- wet and fragile, completely different to who it was before, not yet able to fly, but absolutely beautiful! If protected and honoured can and will fly. So is Matrescence, the transition to Motherhood. If protected and honoured, we can and will fly.

Community, Support, and safety to evolve are worth finding so that Matrescence becomes a positive transition. All women deserve that and our world is better for it.

Visit Out of the Nest for a wealth of resources for families in the Blue Mountains.